Last summer aged 43 I found out I was pregnant. Both me and my husband could not have been more shocked.
Fourteen years after having my first child in a different relationship, eight years of trying and four miscarriages we couldn’t believe we had finally conceived. I’ve blogged about our journey here.
So what is the reality of being pregnant when you are in your 40s.
Work is better
At 44 I’m in a much better position in terms of my career than I was back when I had my first child and there are more options open to me. I’m looking forward to going back to work and feel stronger in terms of being able to negotiate part-time working.
I’m more confident
In your 40s you know yourself more and are generally more confident and its easier to be assertive about what you want.
I’ve been clear about the sort of birth I would like and will continue to ask for this in the boundaries of what is safe for our baby.
Last time I just very much as I was told without questioning anything.
I don’t have much younger children
Our circumstances mean we will have a teen and a new born at the same time. I would much prefer this to running around after a toddler when I have a brand new baby.
Hopefully he will lend a hand when the baby is here.
The not so good
The journey was much longer
It’s not the same experience for all, but for me getting pregnant later in life was a much longer and more painful process.
The years spent trying put untold pressure on us as a couple. It’s certainly not how we would have chosen to go about it but we were over the moon we finally made it.
I’m much more tired
Looking back my first pregnancy was a bit of a breeze. Nausea at the beginning and a bit of exhaustion at the end.
With this pregnancy I feel I’ve had every single symptom thrown at me including an infection which led to a hospital for four days, awful ligament pain and exhaustion throughout.
This could be an age thing or it could be just how this pregnancy has gone. I have much younger friends who struggled in the same way, sometimes worse.
The worry seems worse
I think as a younger mum you take a lot more for granted but now in my 40s I think through everything.
This of course may have something to do with our experience of miscarriage.
Touch wood everything has gone like clock work so far.
So there it is the good, the bad and the ugly of being pregnant at the grand old age of 44.
If you would like to read some more stories about women having babies over the age of 35 check out Leah who blogs at ww.homefamilylife.co.uk. She has a great series called Not Too Old to be Mum.